I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
