I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
