You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
