If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
