i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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