The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
