Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
