how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
