It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
