'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
