Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I need water and some morals
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
