I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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