Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
