he shaved USA in his pubs
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
