i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
