Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
