We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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