i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
