I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
