Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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