This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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