idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
someone threw a dead crab at me
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
