you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
