i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
