based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
