I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
