Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm really busy with my period
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