need another drink. this is the easiest way
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
