You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
birth control should be required to get into college
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
