so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We are all done wearing pants today
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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