How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
No subtext here. People are naked.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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