Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
