So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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