fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
