hotel room ftw
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
