it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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