He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
