Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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