Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
