You're completely useless in the revolution.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
