Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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