my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
