I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
