I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
