I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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