I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
