Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
