Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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