So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
