Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
