I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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